she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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