Only a mothe r could love this liver
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
