glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
