i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
