i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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