People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
