Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
