When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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