can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
