I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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