wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
