if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
