who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
