I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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