No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize