Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
