Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The best revenge is premature balding
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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