O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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