i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just had sex on a roof
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
