the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
so much tequila, so little girl.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
