There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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