she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Enjoy the penises
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
