On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
