so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
