i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
