so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
