I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize