there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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