She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
