Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
