STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
