**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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