She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We're too hungover to prance.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
