what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
