Duck Duck Cougar?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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