Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
