Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
