I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I think I died a long time ago.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
