Do you still have your period?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
