you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
