Tell her she can't have a vagina
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
