Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
how can u be prego again
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So apparently I’m into choking now
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