Me too!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I could fuck to npr.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
