If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
