saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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