That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
