Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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