I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
