the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
where am i from again
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
