you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
