I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
not ubering you a puppy
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize