five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize