just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
