While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
