i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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