it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I think people are normalizing furries
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
